Okay, I promise that I'm not intending to turn this into an entire blog about my lamentations as a singleton. But, I've had several glasses of wine and it's my birthday/Valentine's Day week, and that's just what's on my mind.
I went out with one of my all-time favorite couples tonight. They've known me for oh, about 4 1/2 years now, so they've experienced several phases of my life with me, and vice versa. Suffice it to say they know me pretty well. At one point during the conversation tonight, the guy asked me "so, is there anyone new?" When I started to answer "no, there's no one new...." I realized that my stories were even starting to bore me, myself. All I've got to go on are semi-bitter or regretful stories about the last few guys in my life, or the "we're just friends!" protestations that I still try convince myself, and it's been a long time since I've had any new stories to tell. (Excluding the random bar guy story from last week, which is feeling more like a funny anecdote than anything with any real resonance.)
Which leads me to ask you, blog world, how do you meet new people? I feel like I'm putting in a decent amount of effort. Not as much as some of the true troopers of the dating world, but I am getting out there. I volunteer, I take classes, I joined a board, I work young professionals' events, I hang out with friends of friends. And who do I meet? Lots and lots of married guys, or those who may as well be.
I had a startling moment of clarity - or depression - recently when I read on City Sparkle that, at least according to Men's Health magazine, there are statistics that show which cities are particularly bad for one gender. Of the top 5 cities that have a real imbalance of women over men in their population, the top 3 are.... Richmond, VA; Pittsburgh, PA; and Washington, DC. Collectively, these are aka the places where I've willingly chosen to spend the last THIRTEEN YEARS of my life! I shared this with Brunette, who has also lived in the same cities. Her reaction was to blame it all on the statistics - hey, it's not us, it's the population! But somehow I feel that's just one factor.
I have several really, really good guy friends. But one thing I'll never be able to understand is the pheonomenon in which those guy friends *refuse* to introduce their female friends to their other guy friends. I just had it happen again recently. A really close guy friend of mine and I were talking, and I was bitching about this stuff. I said "Hey, how come you're only friends with women?" And he said "Oh, I do have one single guy friend." My response: "And....?" And then he pulled the typical, "Oh, I'd never want to introduce you to him. He's not good enough for you." Aaargh! Happens every time! My male dinner buddy tonight said that's really all about preventing complication - about the guy friend not wanting to be in the middle of a potentially awkward situation if the fix-up doesn't go well. I can see that. I've also seen it as being a jealousy issue one time in the past. But for the most part, I think the guy friends take their protective/older brother role very seriously. I appreciate that, but come on! I've got to meet new guys somehow, so why not have them be prescreened by the good guy friends?!?
So.... any advice? How do you guys meet people? I'd hate to have to go back to online. It just plays into all of my terrible neuroses, and I don't want to confront those demons anytime soon. Thoughts? Suggestions? Fix-ups? :-)
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
5 comments:
J and I met through a personal ad. But the thing is, what helped during that period (and I was going through a dry spell at the time) was going on bad dates. I only WISH I had a blog during that time to document the cavalcade of bad dates. But the thing about going out with people you aren't interested in is that you stretch your legs on the dating pool. You see what you don't want and realize that is why you don't have someone in your life - because it just hasn't happened. There are men out there but they aren't the one for you. Do you ever read the Nice Guys Finish Last blog? He is complaining up and down about the fact that women aren't into him. He goes to a Valentine's Day party and one kisses him. He doesn't find her attractive. My point is to date around just to realize there ARE guys out there. They may not be the guys for you. And that's ok. - T
I met D through craigslist...Plain and simple. Scary yet actually worked. Going on 2 years....
Insane. Wouldn't do it again though...doesn't make for a good reception story! ha
I took Sharkbait's and Sub Girls advice and also met men through Craigslist. Though that has had some seriously mixed results. As we know...
Not sure. I constantly see cute guys on the Metro (some even without wedding rings!), but I don't have the guts to talk to them. Anyway, they probably have girlfriends (or boyfriends). My parents met in a bar and have been together almost 36 years so I am not ruling out the bar option, especially if it is a nice bar. We should go out sometime and look for guys! (I am single now...)
God if you find out, tell me. I meet lots of men. Just none I would actually want to date for a long period of time.
Post a Comment