Penance

Like many other people this week, I have become addicted to Hurricane Katrina news coverage. I watch CNN nearly nonstop at home (except for the Daily Show and the occasional "reality tv" break from reality). I get updates on CNN.com all day, and I'm gobbling up editorials on the NY Times and BBC. I remember my own reaction to 9-11 as being very similar.

Why is that? I'm trying to understand the psychology of it, cuz I know I'm not alone. Thousands, maybe millions, of us are glued to this coverage. My theory is that it has something to do with penance. Feeling survivor guilt for being one of the lucky ones that didn't have to experience this myself, I feel like I *have* to, like I'm obligated, to subject myself to as many of the horrifying images and stories as I can. Like maybe if I can take on just a little bit of the collective pain that is being felt, maybe I can help alleviate someone else's? That seems arrogant when I type it out, but I think it could be a factor. Or that watching this coverage can help fuel both the empathy and the outrage needed to motivate me and countless others to do our part in helping the survivors.

I hope that it's not just voyeurism. I hope that there's a more powerful psychology at work, that it's an instinctive need to *feel* this, to remember this. Who could forget Aaron Broussard breaking down on Meet The Press, telling the story of his friend's mother who died while waiting to be rescued? Or Harvey Jackson, who couldn't hold on to his wife and had to say goodbye, promising to take care of their children and grandchildren? Or that brown dog, stranded in the very top branches of a nearly-submerged tree? Or Wolf Blitzer yelling at the Secretary of Homeland Security? Or the President of the United States telling Diane Sawyer that no one could have imagined a breach of the levees?