I had the most surreal Metro ride ever today. I was soaking wet after walking from 16th to Woodley Park, and all I wanted to do was to ride out to Shady Grove in peace and dry out. Not meant to be. Somewhere around Bethesda, this guy in full death metal costume (black mesh shirt, big pewter skull rings, etc.) got in and started being all chatty. Come on, the last thing you want on public transportation is a loud, outgoing, chatty guy sitting next to you!
In the span from Bethesda to Rockville, I learned that he moved here from Italy, that he hates his father, that he thinks the Black Kat and 9:30 Club are poser places, that he's an accountant and wears a suit all week. He thought I was 24 (haha, not quite!), asked where I like to hang out, wondered if I enjoy cuddling up in front of the fire with a good book (???), and presumed that I prefer guys in Italian suits who drive Lexuseseses (Lexi?). Then he asked me out. Keep in mind, I've just barely been acknowledging him with nods or "uh-huhs" while staring out the window. When I said "Thanks, but I don't think so," he alughed and said, "Oh, I shoulda been like that Italian guy on Friends, How you doin'?" I had to laugh.
Meanwhile, we both noticed a bit of a commotion in the train car. There was this young blonde chick bouncing from seat to seat talking to people - she sounded like a market researcher or something. He started mocking blondes in general - said something like "wow, they sent a blonde to do an idiot's job." We quickly figured out that the blonde and the older redheaded woman on the other side of the train were clearly talking to people about God. Oh great, now I get the Jesus Freaks on my train ride? Guess they needed something to do since the torrential rains have put a damper on that Christian Festival on the Mall.
The older Jesus lady came and sat down right next to me. I kinda hoped she would divert me away from the conversation with death metal guy. Turns out it got to be quite entertaining. She asked if she could talk to me and ask me 3 questions, and I said sure. "Do you believe in God?" Well, I wasn't in the mood to play after all, cuz I said "I do believe in something, but it's private." The she said in a very sing-songy voice, "Well, then I guess you don't want to talk to me after all." And she bounded away. Then she decided to take a risk and start talking to the guy. I smirked and looked forward to this little interaction. It went a little something like this:
Jesus Lady: Can I ask you three questions?
Death Metal Guy: Sure.
JL: Do you believe in God?
DMG: No
JL: Do you believe that Jesus is the Son of God?
DMG: (smirking) Uh, no.
JL: Some people do you believe the 2nd even if they don't believe the first. Do you believe that when you die you're going to heaven?
DMG: No, I'm going to Valhalla.
JL: And where's that? (I laugh quietly.)
DMG: It's a pagan belief.
JL: Pagan? Does that mean you believe in Satan? Are you a Satanist? (she said this very snappy.)
DMG: No, I don't believe in Satan. Paganism is an old religion from thousands of years before Christianity. Christianity and Roman Catholicism came along and initiated the mass slaughter of thousands of people. It was called the Burning Times. Study your history.
JL: The Bible is history. I study the Bible.
DMG: I study the Bible too. Psalms 34, you should look it up. I bet you'd like it. (He starts to walk towards the door to get off the train.)
JL: Just remember Jesus loves you!
DMG: Blessed be.
She walks away as the train is slowing down. He turns to me and says "Oh, you just knew that was coming!" Again, I had to laugh and smile. At this point, he got off the train. Hmmm, maybe I should've said yes when he asked me out after all. He was kinda cute...
The Jesus people stayed on and rode the final leg to Shady Grove as well. I heard the JL go back to her friends and tell the story of this *terrifying* encounter she had just had with a Satanist pagan freak. The guy with her said "he sounds like a goofball!" but they were clearly very bothered by him. Good for him for rattling that cage.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
Blessed be. Ha!
Seriously though, what is it about non-Christian beliefs = Satanism? I had a friend in law school who practiced Wicca (somewhat casually, to tell the truth) and she got those questions all the time. The fact that her religion existed long before the *concept* of Satan existed didn't seem to make a difference. MCB
Too bad you didn't get his number after that well-informed chat. Honestly, do you think you would have if he was wearing a suit?
-a
You know what, if he was wearing a suit I probably wouldn't have noticed him. "Ho-hum, another guy on Metro in a suit." He was different and that made him a bit more interesting. But I'm not in the habit of going out with chatty strangers from the Metro. Perhaps it's my loss....
Post a Comment